Javier and Ellie’s songs

While I’m finishing up Shooting Scars, more music comes prominent in the tragic circumstances of Ellie and Javier’s relationship. Shooting Scars features the Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds album Let Love In. In particular, I find the songs “Do You Love Me?”, “Loverman” and “I Let Love In” to be especially poignant. Just take a look at the lyrics:

Do You Love Me?

I found her on a night of fire and noise
Wild bells rang in a wild sky
I knew from that moment on
I’ll love her till the day that I died
And I kissed away a thousand tears
My lady of the Various Sorrows
Some begged, some borowed, some stolen
Some kept safe for tomorrow
On and endless night, silver star spangled
The bells from the chapel went jingle-jangle

Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Like I love you?

She was given to me to put things right
And I stacked all my accomplishments beside her
Still I seemed so obsolete and small
I found God and all His devils inside her
In my bed she cast the blizzard out
A mock sun blazed upon her head
So completely filled with light she was
Her shadow fanged and hairy and mad
Our love-lines grew hopelessly tangled
And the bells from the chapel went jingle-jangle

Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Like I love you?

She had a heartful of love and devotion
She had a mindful of tyranny and terror
Well, I try, I do, I really try
But I just err, baby, I do, I error
So come find me, my darling one
I’m down to the grounds, the very dregs
Ah, here she comes, blocking the sun
Blood running down the inside of her legs
The moon in the sky is battered and mangled
And the bells from the chapel go jingle-jangle

Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Like I love you?

All things move toward their end
I knew before I met her that I would lose her
I swear I made every effort to be good to her
I made every effort not to abuse her
Crazy bracelets on her wrists and her ankles
And the bells from the chapel go jingle-jangle

Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Do you love me?
Do you love me? Like I love you?

 

Loverman

There’s a devil waiting outside your door (How much longer?)
There’s a devil waiting outside your door
It is bucking and braying and pawing at the floor
And he’s howling with pain and crawling up the walls
There’s a devil waiting outside your door
He’s weak with evil and broken by the world
He’s shouting your name and he’s asking for more
There’s a devil waiting outside your door

Loverman!
Since the world began
Forever, amen
Till end of time
Take off that dress
I’m coming down
I’m your loverman
Cause I am what I am what I am what I am

L is for LOVE, baby
O is for ONLY you that I do
V is for loving VIRTUALLY all that you are
E is for loving almost EVERYTHING that you do
R is for RAPE me
M is for MURDER me
A is for ANSWERING all of my prayers
N is for KNOWING your loverman’s going to
be the answer to all of yours

Loverman!
Till the bitter end
While empires burn down
Forever and ever and ever and ever amen
I’m your loverman
So help me, baby
So help me
Cause I am what I am what I am what I am
I’ll be your loverman!

There’s a devil crawling along your floor
There’s a devil crawling along your floor
With a trembling heart, he’s coming through your door
With his straining sex in his jumping paw
There’s a devil crawling along your floor
And he’s old and he’s stupid and
he’s hungry and he’s sore
And he’s lame and he’s blind
and he’s dirty and he’s poor
Give him more
There’s a devil crawling along your floor

Loverman!
Here I stand
Forever, amen
Cause I am what I am what I am what I am
Forgive me, baby
My hands are tied
And I got no choice
No, I got no choice at all

I’ll say it again
L is for LOVE, baby
O is for OH yes I do
V is for VIRTUE, so I ain’t gonna hurt you
E is for EVEN if you want me to
R is for RENDER unto me, baby
M is for that which is MINE
A is for ANY old how, darling
N is for ANY old time

I’ll be your loverman!
I got a masterplan
To take off your dress
And be your man
Seize the throne
Seize the mantle
Seize the crown
Cause I am what I am what I am what I am
I’m your loverman!

There’s a devil lying by your side
You might think he’s asleep
but look at his eyes
He wants you, baby, to be his bride
There’s a devil lying by your side

I Let Love In

Despair and Deception, Love’s ugly little twins
Came a-knocking on my door, I let them in
Darling, you’re the punishment for all of my former sins

I let love in
I let love in

The door it opened just a crack, but Love was shrewed and bold
My life flashed before my eyes, it was a horror to behold
A life-sentence sweeping confetti from the floor of a concrete hole

I let love in
I let love in
I let love in
I let love in

Well I’ve been bound and gagged and I’ve been terrorized
And I’ve been castrated and I’ve been lobotomized
But never has my tormenter come in such a cunning disguise

I let love in
I let love in
I let love in
I let love in

O Lord, tell me what I done
Please don’t leave me here alone
Where are my friends?
My friends are gone

O Lord, tell me what I done
Please don’t leave me here alone
Where are my friends?
My friends are gone

I let love in
I let love in

So if you’re sitting all alone and hear a-knocking at you door
and the air is full of promises, well buddy, you’ve been warned
Far worse to be Love’s lover than the lover that Love has scorned

I let love in
I let love in
I let love in
I let love in
I let love in
I let love in
I let love in
I let love in

From the other books, the  other songs of significance are Ellie’s tattoo: On Every Street by Dire Straits:

There’s gotta be a record of you someplace
You gotta be on somebody’s books
The lowdown – a picture of your face
Your injured looks
The sacred and profane
The pleasure and the pain
Somewhere your fingerprints remain concrete
And it’s your face I’m looking for on every street

A ladykiller – regulation tattoo
Silver spurs on his heels
Says – what can I tell you, as I’m standing next to you
She threw herself under my wheels
Oh it’s a dangerous road
And a hazardous load
And the fireworks over liberty explode in the heat
And it’s your face I’m looking for on every street

A three-chord symphony crashes into space
The moon is hanging upside down
I don’t know why it is I’m still on the case
It’s a ravenous town
And you still refuse to be traced
Seems to me such a waste
And every victory has a taste that’s bittersweet
And it’s your face I’m looking for on every street

 

And of course the Nine Inch Nails song “Wish,” the tattoo on Javier’s wrist.

This is the first day of my last days
I built it up now I take it apart
Climbed up real high
Now fall down real far

No need for me to stay
The last thing left I just threw it away
I put my faith in God and my trust in you
Now there’s nothing more fucked up I could do

Wish there was something real
Wish there was something true
Wish there was something real
In this world full of you

I’m the one without a soul
I’m the one with this big fucking hole
No new tale to tell
Twenty-six years on my way to hell
Gotta listen to your big time, hard line, bad luck fist fuck
Don’t think you’re having all the fun
You know me I hate everyone

Wish there was something real
Wish there was something true
Wish there was something real
In this world full of you

I want to but I can’t turn back
But I want to, but I can’t turn back

Wish there was something real
Wish there was something true
Wish there was something real
In this world full of you

 

Author Signings 2013

I’ve got a bunch of author signings coming up in 2013 – after the success of BAE in Boston this March, I LOVED having the opportunity to meet readers and authors in person. Sadly, I won’t be going to RT in Kansas City anymore thanks to financial reasons and book deadlines BUT I am going to enough to hopefully make up for it. AND if anything comes up in the Pacific Northwest, I’ll be sure to try and be a part of it too!

** Book Bash – Orlando, FL – June 29th

http://www.bookbash.net/

 

** NYC Author Signing – NYC – July 27th

http://www.theoccasionalist.com/signingEvent/info/6

 

** Phoenix Author Signing – Phoenix, AZ – September

http://www.theoccasionalist.com/signingEvent/info/10

 

** Toronto Author Signing – Toronto, Canada – October 5th

http://www.theoccasionalist.com/signingEvent/info/7

 

** Richmond Virginia Author Signing – Richmond, VA – December

 

** New Orleans Author Signings – New Orleans, LA – February 2014

 

** Chicago Author Signing – Chicago, IL – May 2014

 

 

This….this….this…

I’m going to try and keep this short and sweet, like the Oscar acceptance speeches are expected to be – but like them, don’t be surprised if I drone on and on and am cut off by the music.

I have accepted an offer by a major “Big Six” publisher for The Artists Trilogy, which includes On Every Street, Sins & Needles, Shooting Scars and Bold Tricks (the tentatively titled last book). All books will be published this year in e-book format and late 2014 in mass market paperback.

*confetti gun goes off*

This is THE dream of all dreams for me. I wrote my first novel in 2009 (Darkhouse, EIT #1) and self-published it on May 13, 2011 (after a few more books were written). Since then, I have written and promoted 13 books and I NEVER ever thought this day would come. I always felt like my writing was unnoticed and underappreciated. I felt like the geeky kid who can’t sit at the cool kids table (and I still feel like this). I felt like the validation I needed, wanted, craved was always out of my hands, a dream belonging to someone else.

I felt like this for two years. But I persevered. I kept writing, kept trying to do my best. I sacrificed sleep, friends, a social life, fitting into my clothes, spending quality time with family, exercise, traveling, EVERYTHING. I invested money in it that, for the longest time, I NEVER saw come back. I felt like a lone soldier, just working her ass off, sometimes while holding down a day job and sometimes while working 10 hour days of just writing until my brain started to bleed. It’s been hard. It’s been tough. No one ever said being an indie author was easy but I never thought it would be SO hard. I never thought I would lose so much in pursuit of my dream.

But, slowly, eventually, after about a year and a half of selling 0-20 copies of my books a month, something changed. Thanks to bloggers like Maryse, The Bookish Babes and Forever Young Adult, and the hardcore fans who have been there since the start, people started to notice Dex and Perry and Experiment in Terror.

And after they noticed that, they noticed Sage and Dawn from The Devil’s Metal.

And then they noticed Ellie and Camden (and Javier) and Sins & Needles.

And publishers noticed it too.

So, finally, I feel like all my hard work is finally being recognized, finally paying off. I’ve made my friends proud of me (they can point to the books when they come out in bookstores and say, “I know that dork!”), I’ve made my parents proud of me (they can tell their friends that their daughter is “actually” published, since the older generation doesn’t really get the whole self-pubbing thing and our family overseas will be able to pick up MY BOOKS at the airports), I’ve made my fiancé proud of me (who has seen me struggle for far too long) and I’ve made ME proud of me. Because I made it – I finally did it. I got a traditional publishing deal. My books will be in bookstores everywhere in 2014. I will have the backing of a huge corporation and editors who believe in me. I am PROUD of myself and all the blood that went into it.

But…and here was the question that always nagged at me since the beginning of negotiations – would my READERS be proud of me?

You see, dear readers, I was terrified of telling you this. Because everyone knows now that books get pushed back when a publisher takes them on. And from some of the angry comments I had already received from  people who hated the way Sins & Needles ended, I knew I was going to make a lot of people mad at me. They weren’t going to be happy for me. They wouldn’t be proud. They would be upset that Shooting Scars got pushed back from May and nothing else would matter.

So, I kept that thought at the forefront of negotiations. If the book was going to be delayed more than I thought necessary, I wouldn’t sign the deal.

I’ll repeat: I would rather give up my dream than majorly disappoint and anger my readers.

Thankfully, it didn’t have to be that way. The publisher understood how important it was to get Shooting Scars out there. They didn’t want to delay it for the sake of delaying it (even though it does benefit them to do so). They understood. They are awesome like that.

And so I said yes.

So here it is:

Shooting Scars is getting delayed until July 2013 (ironically, that was the original release date I picked for the book before I moved it up to May). It’s just two months. It could have been a lot worse. It was the best I can do and believe me, that was the latest I would allow it to be pushed back.

On the plus side: the book will stay around the same price of Sins & Needles (definitely indie-priced) AND the final book in the series will be published sooner than I had originally planned. I was thinking November for Bold Tricks but it appears to be bumped up to September. So yes, more waiting in the short-term but less waiting in the long-term.

Now I know some of you are angry and I’ve been waiting for the retaliation. And I understand the disappointment. I really do! I wish it could come out in May, too (though this does give me more time to work on it and make it amazing). But as another author said to me, the true fans will wait. They will understand. And they will be proud of what you’ve accomplished.

I hope you’re all just as proud as I am

PS – Come Alive, the 7th Experiment in Terror book is still coming out in June (mid-month it seems). I WILL have lots of awesomely awesome TAT (The Artists Trilogy) giveaways and swag plus lots of teasers to keep you game.

PPS I am doing a LOT of book signings this year – there’s RT in May, Maryse’s Book Bash in Orlando in June. There’s an east coast signing or two (or three) later on. Even one in the desert. Since I will soon have to pull my paperbacks of Sins & Needles and On Every Street very soon – and the paperbacks from the publisher won’t be out till next year – I advise you to buy them from Amazon now, while you can.

Link to Sins & Needles paperback

Link to On Every Street paperback

<3

 

Sins & Needles & Turkey

I’ve been sitting on this info for awhile now, but I guess it’s finally official: cxasxdcfdcvgfdz

Actually my dog just typed that last bit. For realz.

What I was about to say was that the foreign rights to Sins & Needles and The Artists Trilogy (or TAT) have been sold to Turkey! That means in the fall, you`ll see my books in the bookstores there. Of course it will translated into Turkish, but still…how cool is that!

March 12th is coming…

 

Sins & Needles on sale for 99 cents

Well folks, it’s that time. On Every Street, the prequel to Sins & Needles, is coming out March 12th. To celebrate, I’m lowering the price of Sins & Needles to just 99 cents until March 1st.

From March 1st to March 12th Sins & Needles will go up to $1.99.

After March 12th, it’ll go back to $2.99. So get it while you can!

And, you know, spread the word

Release dates for The Artists Trilogy:

On Every Street #0.5 – March 12th

Shooting Scars #2 – May 13th 2013

 

Click HERE to buy on Amazon, HERE for Smashwords

Shooting Scars Cover Reveal

Guess what? I moved up the release date of Shooting Scars (The Artists Trilogy #2) from July (as was originally planned) to May. Yes, I do feel remotely bad about the cliffhanger. Muahahaha.

Until then, remember that the Ellie/Javier prequel novella On Every Street is coming March 12th!

Pick up your copy of the best-selling first novel Sins & Needles (The Artists Trilogy #1) HERE.

Commonly asked questions of the moment

Starting this off with ^^^ a dream come true. I’ve been self-publishing since May 2011, have TWELVE novels under my belt (including my pen name erotica) and have never gotten this far. #77 in the Top 100 out of all Kindle books on Amazon. Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who not only bought Sins & Needles but gave it a chance. And especially those who loved it. It’s a personal story to me and I’m extremely proud of it. And, I feel slightly smug to the certain people who were sure this book wouldn’t sell (*cough* publishers). Hell, you write what’s in your heart and you can’t go wrong!

Anyhoo, I thought I’d address some commonly asked questions I’ve noticed floating around.

1) What is the deal with the cliffhanger in Sins & Needles? OMG HOW WILL I LIVE?? I’M GONNA CUT YOU KARINA HALLE!

EEEP! I don’t write them on purpose (though EIT fans may say otherwise). I write the book the way it tells me it should be written. Sometimes, it’s just where that story ends and usually someone gets something wrapped up. If you’re Team Camden, you should be pretty happy…OR MAYBE NOT. Anyhoo, cliffhangers happen and I will try my hardest not to have one in Book Two, Shooting Scars. But, you know, when you have a trilogy, it’s kind of hard NOT To have each book lead to the other…think about Lord of the Rings! At least you don’t have to wait a year like traditionally published books (AM I RITE?)….which brings me to question two…

2) When is On Every Street and Shooting Scars coming out? April and July? I can’t wait that long!

You don’t have to. On Every Street (a prequel novella about Javier and Ellie back in the day) will be released in March and Shooting Scars will now be released in May! 

3) But what about EIT? Dex and Perry! We need more EIT books!

Come Alive (EIT #7) will be pushed back two weeks or so…so instead of a May 21st release it’ll be the first week of June. No biggie! Plus you all get Dex (And With Madness Comes the Light) on Valentine’s Day!

4) But what about the sequel to The Devil’s Metal?

Well, that’ not 100% up to me since the book was picked up by Diversion Books. But I can tell you Sage and Dawn’s story (oooh, sexy rockstar times in Europe…uh…with demons) will be written this year, and most likely published in the fall. Kind of  a perfect book for Halloween, no?

5) I want to read Sins & Needles but I have a Nook or Kobo…

Download your epub file from Smashwords! Super easy (they have an FAQ if you get stuck). Kobo and Nook can take weeks and weeks to get the books on their system, but Smashwords costs the same  - download HERE

6) I want Sins & Needles paperbacks

Me too. They are coming, as soon as next week maybe, you’ll be able to buy from Amazon.

7) Will you sign them?

I’m terrible at mailing books (as in get them in the mail, sign them, and then go to the post office), so probably not. BUT I am trying to work something out…they would be quite a limited supply.

8) Sins & Needles merch?

It’s coming, just need a few days to set things up…I’ve got to add the Twatwaffle hoodie/shirts to Redbubble first, then I’ll think of some interesting S&N merch ideas…

9) I love the music in the book…do you have a playlist?

Yes, I am a huge music lover (music journalist by trade…only relevant because I’m always trying to show the underdog bands some love, like Guano Padano) and I always write to playlists. You can find mine HERE.

10) Ellie didn’t seem as good of a con artist as she said she was…meanwhile, Camden was always calling her by her full name. And Javier…what’s his deal?

Hmmm, funny how that can be sometimes. And yes, Camden does use her name a lot…perhaps to remind her of who she truly is. And Javier? Well…you’ll see very soon…;)

Sins & Needles is a Canadian Best Seller!

Woo hoo! I don’t know what I did to my little country to make them love me so much, but look at this!

 

 

I mean…what? How did I get to be the 29th best-selling book in the entire Canadian Kindle store? NO IDEA.

 

 

Pretty cool. Pretty damn cool. Does this mean I can call Sins & Needles “The international best-seller”? Cuz I like the sound of that!